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Original script written in Transact-SQL by Graeme Job, posted on The Daily WTF.
I ported it to JavaScript as a mental exercise, and, upon finding this contest, shrank it to exactly 1K.
Original T-SQL: http://urlm.in/bhji
JavaScript port: http://urlm.in/bhtr
JS1k entry: http://urlm.in/flii
Version 1.0.1 adjusts the position of the controls to make it fit beside the 'brot at 1024*768.